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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Porn Actress Very Nearly Appears To Enjoy Ejaculation In Face

LOS ANGELES—Detachment and boredom were very nearly concealed Monday when 1.5 ounces of semen were ejaculated into the face of adult-film star Brittany Silk, 20, on the set of Butt-Fuck Sluts Go Nuts Vol. 31, forthcoming from Mustang Entertainment. "Brittany really did a great job with that scene," director Rodney Campos said. "She practically made it look like she loved having [co-star] Rick [Steed] shoot his hot, steaming load all over her face."

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