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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Portion Of Finite Life Spent In Mock Fantasy Baseball Draft

NOVI, MI—Ignoring the ever-looming specter of his own mortality, sources confirmed that local web designer Spencer Krone devoted a rapidly fleeting portion of his finite life Thursday evening to participating in a mock draft for his Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Baseball league “Diggin’ For Goldschmidt.” “Dammit, somebody already got Mike Trout,” Krone reportedly said as his every breath brought him closer to the inevitable end of his time on earth, with the 26-year-old having chosen to dedicate over two hours of his brief yet precious existence to a full 23-round practice run of an upcoming fantasy draft. “Hope I can still get McCutchen. McCutchen’s really good.” At press time, Krone, who will reportedly never have the chance to relive his mid-20s, had just made a note that Los Angeles Angels third baseman David Freese could be a quality sleeper pick late in the draft.

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