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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Poster Vandal Enters 'Phallus In Mouth' Period

OAKLAND, CA—According to experts at the American Folk Art Museum, the billboard and subway-poster defacer known only as "Suck It" has entered his "phallus in mouth" phase. "As you can see, the artist has moved from drawing larger breasts on the lingerie models to depicting erect penises entering their mouths," said art critic Graham Kern, gesturing to a vandalized Victoria's Secret poster. "His Sharpie phalluses offer a stark contrast to the colorful hues of the ad, with simple lines recalling Henri Matisse's nudes." Kern said he has not seen such energetic lines since the poster vandal's "blackened-in teeth" period.

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