Powerful Special Interest Group Momentarily Blanks On Agenda

In This Section

Vol 44 Issue 43

Americans Voting Early

So far, more than 5 million people have cast their ballots in states where early voting is available. What do you think?

Swaggering Down 87%

NEW YORK—A wide-legged gait accompanied by an overconfident smile and a jauntily raised eyebrow may soon be a thing of the past due to recent economic turmoil.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Late Night

Partying

Powerful Special Interest Group Momentarily Blanks On Agenda

FAIRFAX, VA—After nearly 150 years spent unapologetically advocating for a single, unifying issue, the National Rifle Association—one of the nation's most influential special interest groups—momentarily blanked on its entire political agenda Monday. "I am here to tell you today that we really, really care about this subject, and that we'd probably be willing to die for it. Is it abortion? No, that's not it," spokesman Michael Loomis said during a rally held at the NRA headquarters firing range. "I am totally blanking here. It's, 'Something, something, cold dead hand,' right? Gah! It's on the tip of my tongue!" The NRA's memory lapse comes on the heels of last week's PETA march on Washington, during which the organization was briefly unable to recall its stance on the ruthless murder of helpless animals for their fur.

Jump to next story

Onion Video

Watch More