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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?
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Preakness-Winning Filly An Inspiration To Women Who Want To Win Preakness

BALTIMORE—By becoming the first filly to win the Preakness Stakes in 85 years, thoroughbred Rachel Alexandra inspired millions of women Saturday to believe that they too could one day win the legendary horse race.

"The Preakness Stakes has been dominated by male horses for decades," said Melissa Snow, an advocate for gender equality in sports. "Rachel Alexandra's incredible triumph represents a change in the status quo—a change that will inspire women for generations to come."

"Finally, women have an athletic role model whose esteemed hoofprints they can follow to greatness," Snow added. "It won't be long before a woman trots out to the winner's circle to have the coveted garland of black-eyed Susans placed around her neck."

According to the filly's spokesperson, Diane Pearce, the thoroughbred's incredible feat of finishing the race with a 1:55.08 time after starting from the unfavorable 13th post will serve as a great motivation to women, because it shows that anything is possible as long as they train hard, gallop with all their heart, and eat all their hay.

"Rachel Alexandra has shattered the perception of the role of female athletes in horse racing," Pearce said. "When she crossed the line, no one cared about her looks or how much she weighed—they only cared that she won. Do you know what that means for a female in today's society? This victory was for any woman who has been dreaming since she was a little girl of rounding that final turn, racing neck and neck with a colt, and then sticking out her muzzle to win in a photo finish."

Karen Lucero, 22, told reporters that narrow-minded preconceptions about women's roles have kept her from ever entering the Preakness, with trainers, friends, and family telling her for years that it would be impossible for her to compete on a 1-and-3/16-mile dirt track against a 1,500-pound quadruped. However, after Rachel Alexandra's victory in the second leg of the Triple Crown, Lucero has chosen to ignore her detractors' claims that, as a woman, she lacks the necessary strength, speed, and number of legs.

"If I listened to everything people said, I'd never accomplish anything," Lucero said. "The important thing is that you give it your best no matter what, even if sometimes you finish five minutes after the horses or get trampled coming out of the gate."

"You can never give up," she continued. "If you pick yourself off the ground and keep on going, you just might give a little extra encouragement to a young girl or foal watching the Preakness on television."

While Rachel Alexandra's milestone achievement has eliminated numerous barriers and elevated the status of females in the sport, women claim that numerous obstacles remain, as racing insiders often treat women as if they do not belong on the horseracing track. An overwhelming majority of the women competing in the Preakness said that none of the male horses ever spoke to them except in terse, almost animalistic snorting noises.

However, not all women are impressed with Rachel Alexandra's win. Members of the Radical Feminist Foundation have attempted to discredit Rachel Alexandra's victory by noting that a man controlled the filly during the entirety of the race. The Berkeley-based group also asserted that her deliberate willingness to be subjugated by jockey Calvin Borel, who rode on top of her back and forced the thoroughbred to travel in the direction and at the speed he determined, had not done anything to further the women's movement. RFF president Robin Kaplan said that, by allowing Borel to not only control but possibly even beat her, Rachel Alexandra had tacitly endorsed the oppression of females.

"This is a despicable effort to advocate the patriarchal power structure," RFF vice president Robin Kaplan said. "That stupid horse has set feminism back 50 years."

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