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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Pregnant Jessica Simpson Pulls Out Fetus For Photo Op

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Celebrity personality Jessica Simpson manually extracted her second-trimester fetus today and posed for photos as part of an exclusive prenatal photoshoot with US Weekly, the tabloid reported. “Here, get one of me kissing it!” said a smiling Simpson to photographers, pressing her lips up against the 6-inch, 4-ounce fetus covered in streaks of blood and vernix caseosa whom she had pulled out of her own womb just seconds earlier. “Let me know if there is any other way you want me to pose. These pictures are going to look so cute!” Simpson then tweeted a picture of herself squeezing the unborn child back through her vaginal canal and into her uterus before wiping the bloody amniotic yolk off her hands.

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