Pregnant Jessica Simpson Pulls Out Fetus For Photo Op

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Vol 49 Issue 05

Onion Sports' Live Coverage Of Super Bowl XLVII

Highlights Pregame Nation Excited For Opportunity To Watch Harbaugh Lose Super Bowl Pregame Onion Sports' Guide To Super Bowl XLVII Pregame Coverage Nation Excited For Opportunity To Watch Harbaugh Lose Super Bowl “I’m so pumped up! I can...

Hometown Wistfully Toured Via Google Street View

COLUMBUS, OH—Eleven years after last walking through his hometown, 29-year-old local man Paul Brundage reportedly spent the entire evening Friday revisiting his childhood neighborhood in Decatur, IL using the Google Maps Street View feature.
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Pregnant Jessica Simpson Pulls Out Fetus For Photo Op

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Celebrity personality Jessica Simpson manually extracted her second-trimester fetus today and posed for photos as part of an exclusive prenatal photoshoot with US Weekly, the tabloid reported. “Here, get one of me kissing it!” said a smiling Simpson to photographers, pressing her lips up against the 6-inch, 4-ounce fetus covered in streaks of blood and vernix caseosa whom she had pulled out of her own womb just seconds earlier. “Let me know if there is any other way you want me to pose. These pictures are going to look so cute!” Simpson then tweeted a picture of herself squeezing the unborn child back through her vaginal canal and into her uterus before wiping the bloody amniotic yolk off her hands.

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