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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Presence Of Three Round Objects Triggers Juggling Reflex In Local Man

ST. JOSEPH, MO—The juggling reflex of area resident Joel Brodhagen was triggered Tuesday, when a lemon, potato and spherical votive candle all appeared in his range of vision. "Hey, check it out, Henry!" the 33-year-old juggling enthusiast exclaimed to uninterested friend Henry Graves as he kept the objects airborne for nearly three minutes. "Whoa, almost lost it there!" Other objects recently juggled reflexively by Brodhagen include an apple, a Koosh ball and a souvenir snow globe from Niagara Falls.

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