adBlockCheck

Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
End Of Section
  • More News

President Bush Urges Nation

WASHINGTON, DC—Saying he "could not stress the issue strongly enough," President Bush urged the nation Monday in a televised address from the Oval Office. "Fellow Americans, in this time of trial for our nation, I beseech you," Bush said. "Heed my words: This great nation, founded in freedom. Therefore, I implore all Americans. I ask you, in our hour of need. Good night, and God bless you." Pundits agree that the message was the most forceful speech from the president since he interrupted regular programming to call on the nation in the spring of 2003.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close