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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Pretentious Selection Committee Member Thinks Only 6 Teams Deserve Spots In NCAA Tournament

INDIANAPOLIS—Following hours of heated deliberation, pretentious selection committee member Doug Fullerton remained adamant Saturday that only six teams had truly earned a spot in the 2010 men's NCAA basketball tournament. "Let's be honest with ourselves. Purdue is hardly NCAA Tournament material. The very idea. And Baylor? You've got to be kidding me," said Fullerton, who refused to give Kansas, Kentucky, or Syracuse any seed higher than 14. "There's no reason we should be clogging up the brackets with this dreck. And I, for one, would rather not watch Duke embarrass itself yet again, if it's all the same to you." Fullerton added that it was his colleagues' lack of appreciation for the avante-garde that caused them to laugh him out of the room for suggesting Eastern Washington University be made a No. 1 seed.

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