Previously Unknown Prejudice Against Japanese Surfaces During Game Of Battleship

Top Headlines

Recent News

Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.

The Gay Rights Movement In America: A Timeline

The Supreme Court ruled in a 5-4 decision Friday that bans on gay marriage are unconstitutional, concluding decades of hard-fought battles by gay rights activists to grant marriage equality to all. Here is a timeline of milestones in the gay rights movement in the U.S.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Fun

  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Previously Unknown Prejudice Against Japanese Surfaces During Game Of Battleship

SAN FRANCISCO—An otherwise unremarkable game of Battleship, the time-honored naval-themed contest of double-blind coordinate prediction, resulted in a completely unheralded display of anti-Japanese bias by participant Ronald Clark, 39. "I thought you'd guess G-5, you clever Nip bastards," Clark muttered under his breath loudly enough to be heard by everyone in the family living room. "Good with numbers, aren't you, you slanty-eyed yellow bug-eaters?" Sources close to Clark later noted that when playing Monopoly, he usually refused to purchase property in cheaper, lower-rent neighborhoods because the "fucking beaners always trash the places anyway."

Next Story