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Previously Unknown Prejudice Against Japanese Surfaces During Game Of Battleship

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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

Previously Unknown Prejudice Against Japanese Surfaces During Game Of Battleship

SAN FRANCISCO—An otherwise unremarkable game of Battleship, the time-honored naval-themed contest of double-blind coordinate prediction, resulted in a completely unheralded display of anti-Japanese bias by participant Ronald Clark, 39. "I thought you'd guess G-5, you clever Nip bastards," Clark muttered under his breath loudly enough to be heard by everyone in the family living room. "Good with numbers, aren't you, you slanty-eyed yellow bug-eaters?" Sources close to Clark later noted that when playing Monopoly, he usually refused to purchase property in cheaper, lower-rent neighborhoods because the "fucking beaners always trash the places anyway."

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