adBlockCheck

Politics

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
End Of Section
  • More News

Prime Minister Of Norway Gets Laid

OSLO, NORWAY—Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg got laid on Friday, according to a spokesperson for the Norwegian government. "I am able to confirm that the prime minister did indeed have sex last night, and that he was very pleased to have done so," communication officer Tor Aagaard Borgersen told reporters Saturday during a routine briefing of the Oslo press corps. "Following a meeting with cabinet members on long-term strategies for navigating the eurozone crisis, Mr. Stoltenberg returned home, where, a short time later, he had sex with a woman." Reports from high-ranking officials indicated that after getting laid, the prime minister rested comfortably in his bathrobe and read a book while the woman with whom he had intercourse took a shower.

More from this section

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close