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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Prince Fielder Catching On To Fact That Teams Take Free Agents Out To Dinner A Lot

ORLANDO, FL—After recently visiting the Texas Rangers to discuss the possibility of signing a long-term contract, All-Star first baseman Prince Fielder told reporters Monday he's beginning to notice how many complimentary meals he's getting from interested teams. "In Chicago, they took me to a steakhouse, it was top-flight seafood in D.C., and in Dallas, we went out for barbecue and they even comped my breakfast buffet at the hotel the next morning," said Fielder, adding that he has been craving Mexican lately and might entertain an offer from the Dodgers if it means scoring free tacos. "At this rate, I'm almost positive I'm going to sign a one-year deal so I can do this again next winter." Upon hearing the news, pitcher CC Sabathia reportedly put in a call to his agent to inquire about getting out of his current contract with the Yankees.

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