adBlockCheck

Sports

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.
End Of Section
  • More News

Prince Fielder Catching On To Fact That Teams Take Free Agents Out To Dinner A Lot

ORLANDO, FL—After recently visiting the Texas Rangers to discuss the possibility of signing a long-term contract, All-Star first baseman Prince Fielder told reporters Monday he's beginning to notice how many complimentary meals he's getting from interested teams. "In Chicago, they took me to a steakhouse, it was top-flight seafood in D.C., and in Dallas, we went out for barbecue and they even comped my breakfast buffet at the hotel the next morning," said Fielder, adding that he has been craving Mexican lately and might entertain an offer from the Dodgers if it means scoring free tacos. "At this rate, I'm almost positive I'm going to sign a one-year deal so I can do this again next winter." Upon hearing the news, pitcher CC Sabathia reportedly put in a call to his agent to inquire about getting out of his current contract with the Yankees.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close