Prince Fielder Satisfies Curiosity By Eating Small Handful Of Dirt

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Vol 46 Issue 18

Yankees Hat Purchased

WAYNE, NJ—Thirty-six-year-old Ian Althoff, a self-professed casual baseball fan, purchased a fitted New York Yankees baseball cap Monday for the retail price of $33.99.

Phillies Bring In Bruise Specialist

PHILADELPHIA—Phillies manager Charlie Manuel announced Thursday that a bruise specialist from the Johns Hopkins Hospital's contusion trauma center was brought in to examine a third-degree boo-boo on outfielder Shane Victorino's thigh.

Actress, Musician To Wed

HOLLYWOOD, CA—The musician, who was once married to the dancer before divorcing three years ago amid scandal over an Internet sexual intercourse tape, recently attended sex addiction rehab and is described as "ready to settle down" by his lawyer.

Early Marijuana Use Increases Psychosis Risk

A study by the Queensland Brain Institute in Australia showed that young adults who had smoked marijuana for at least six years were twice as likely to suffer delusions, hallucinations, or psychotic episodes.

Bill Russell

In this classic Strongside/Weakside we celebrate a team player who embodied basketball's defensive mindset. Was he any good?
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Special Coverage

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Prince Fielder Satisfies Curiosity By Eating Small Handful Of Dirt

MILWAUKEE—Saying that he has been wondering about its taste for quite some time, Brewers first baseman Prince Fielder was witnessed putting small clumps of infield dirt into his mouth during the fourth inning of Monday night's game against the Pittsburgh Pirates. "There was a little bit of time between warm-ups and the first batter, so I figured I'd finally give it a try," Fielder told reporters after the game, adding that because of dirt's brown coloring, he was curious if it would taste like chocolate. "It wasn't bad. Not great. But not bad." In the past, Fielder has been seen nibbling on his baseball glove, bat, and the Wrigley Field ivy.

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