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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Prince Harry Humiliates Royal Family Yet Again As Base Invaded By Afghan Insurgents

LONDON—Prince Harry of Wales caused yet another headache for the royal family this week as reports surfaced that the military base in Afghanistan where the wayward young royal was stationed had been invaded by Taliban insurgents. “Oh, dear, dear Harry—when will he finally grow up?” said a member of the royal family, who declined to be named. “Frankly, we thought he had left this wild phase of his life behind him, but it is obvious that he still has a lot of maturing to do.” At press time, sources confirmed that two U.S. Marines had been killed in the embarrassing fiasco.

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