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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

Pro Athlete Lauded For Being Decent Human Being

MILWAUKEE–Ray Allen, Milwaukee Bucks guard and budding NBA superstar, is drawing raves on and off the court, hailed by admirers as "not an asshole" and "a reasonably decent human being."

Ray Allen.

The recipient of the NBA's inaugural Magic Johnson Ideal Player Award, Allen was praised by Bucks coach George Karl as "a true standout individual, the kind of person who treats others with a basic level of respect."

"Ray Allen is a great player, but he's an even greater person," said Karl, who is accustomed to reporters asking him about Allen's normalcy. "I remember this one time during his rookie season, he was walking back to his car from practice, and a woman nearby slipped on a patch of ice and fell. He could have kept walking, but instead he asked the woman if she was okay. Right then and there, I knew this kid was something special."

Allen, 25, who came to the NBA from the University of Connecticut in 1996, is among the NBA's best at shooting three-pointers, defending the perimeter, and going home quietly after games. A hardworking athlete, Allen has raised eyebrows around the league by never going AWOL or skipping practice.

"I knew when he came into this league that he had the potential to be a standout player," said Sports Illustrated basketball writer Marty Burns. "He had a reputation as a guy who would not only hit the clutch shot down the stretch, but also make eye contact with the towel boy. He has the potential to be a decent human being in this league for another 10 or 15 years if he stays healthy."

"I'll never forget what he said to me before the first interview I did with him," Burns said. "He said, 'Hello, Mr. Burns.' Then he extended his hand for me to, you know, shake. That's just the type of guy he is."

Allen's remarkable normal-human-being behavior carries over into his personal life. Though unmarried, he spends a respectable amount of time with his 8-year old daughter and is rumored to be on good terms with the girl's mother. He is also said to be close with his own mother.

Such decency has not gone unnoticed: Never accused of sexual assault, Allen has earned high praise for his lack of hostility toward women.

"When he was in college, Ray voluntarily went to several UConn women's basketball games and has been quoted as saying that he'd play for a female coach," Bucks public-relations director Cheri Hanson said. "Ray Allen isn't merely in the top 1 percent of NBA players; he's in the 51st percentile of human beings."

In addition to being a media darling, Allen's civility makes him a fan favorite. Though many pro athletes are abusive toward their supporters, Allen has, on numerous occasions, praised a home crowd as "good" or "great." Last week, after a tough home playoff loss to the Charlotte Hornets, he smiled and signed three or four autographs in the Bradley Center parking lot.

"That's unbelievable," said Karl, whom Allen has never threatened physically. "To come off a tough loss like that in the Eastern Conference semifinals and still be willing to interact with people, you just don't see that sort of thing very often."

"Acting reasonably nice, exhibiting basic common decency, having a general awareness of other people's feelings... that's what sets Ray Allen apart from your run-of-the-mill NBA player," said ESPN's Dan Patrick, who called his November 2000 interview with Allen "possibly the most civil" of his career. "Here I am, an interviewer asking him questions, and instead of taking a swing at me or showering me with verbal abuse, he politely responds to my queries. He didn't have to, but he did."

Continued Patrick: "It's nice to know that in this day and age, there are still athletes out there who say 'thank you' when you give them a new car for making the all-star team."

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