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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Prophetic Basketball Analyst Predicts There Will Be Upsets During NCAA Tournament

NEW YORK—Seemingly staring into the depths of the very future itself, prophetic CBS college basketball analyst Verne Lundquist reportedly harnessed an unfathomable power Thursday, providing a glimpse of the NCAA Tournament’s fate by foretelling “there are bound to be some upsets this year.” “There’s always upsets in the first round; you never know who or when, but they’ll happen,” said Lundquist, humbly brushing aside his immaculate power of premonition or perhaps delivering yet another thinly veiled riddle of a prophecy that the only certainty of March Madness is its uncertainty. “It seems every year a 12 beats a 5, and I wouldn’t expect this year to be any different.” Conjuring visions of the most stunning surprises that await us all, the miraculous soothsayer boldly prophesied that this year’s national championship will be won by the No. 1 overall seed.

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