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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.

A Timeline Of Trump’s Relationship With The Press

President-elect Donald Trump routinely insists that he is treated unfairly by the press, while many in the news industry have openly expressed how difficult it can be to report on him in today’s chaotic media environment. Here is a timeline of the major events that have shaped this relationship.

The Pros And Cons Of Universal Basic Income

As Finland tests a program to give a universal basic income to unemployed citizens, many wonder if a similar initiative could work in the United States. Here are some pros and cons of such a program:

What Compromising Information Does Russia Have On Donald Trump?

On Tuesday, it was reported that leaders of American intelligence agencies had given Donald Trump a memo advising that Russia had gathered compromising personal information about him as part of a wider effort to disrupt the election, though these claims remain unsubstantiated and both the president-elect and the Kremlin deny these reports. Here’s a look at what damaging information Russia may have in its possession.

How Confirmation Hearings Work

On Tuesday, Congress began holding confirmation hearings to evaluate the fitness of President-elect Donald Trump’s cabinet nominees for their offices. Here is a step-by-step guide to the confirmation hearing process.

Trump Gives Intelligence Agencies Their Daily Briefing

NEW YORK—Sitting down with top officials from the CIA, FBI, and Defense Intelligence Agency in a Trump Tower conference room, President-elect Donald Trump reportedly gave U.S. intelligence agencies their daily briefing Tuesday morning.
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Proposed Legislation Offers Citizenship To Immigrants Who Can Play Piano So Good It Makes Everyone Cry

WASHINGTON—The continued efforts of lawmakers to overhaul the nation’s immigration system gained considerable momentum Wednesday when House Speaker John Boehner announced that he would allow House Republicans to vote on a bipartisan reform plan that offers citizenship to immigrants who can play the piano so damned good that it just makes everyone cry. “The House fully supports a broad immigration bill that includes a path to citizenship to immigrants who can sit down at a shiny Steinway piano, close their eyes, and move audiences to tears with a haunting solo piano performance that makes you well up with emotion and say, ‘Wow, this guy can really play,’” Boehner said before a joint session of Congress, pledging support for a Senate-backed bill that would grant citizenship to young Asian children, Eastern European men, and other potential immigrants who can play the shit out of a piano to the point where all you can do is sit there with your jaw open because the whole thing is just so touching and evocative. “Even if said individual is undocumented and entered onto U.S. soil illegally, we are more than willing to grant said individual legal status should they play a stirring piano rendition of either ‘Pachelbel’s Canon,’ Beethoven’s ‘Moonlight Sonata,’ or possibly the theme from Schindler’s List with great poise, stunning technique, and an almost unbearable sense of poignancy.” At press time, leadership in both parties had expressed support for further proposals to grant permanent citizenship to any immigrant who can make those steamed pork bun things that are so good you can’t stop eating them.

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