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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Prospective Student Had Most Fun Getting Drunk At Arizona State

BRINKLEY, AR—After taking a week off from school to evaluate prospective colleges, high school senior Angela Ross said Monday that, though all the campuses she visited had their strong points, she enjoyed getting drunk at Arizona State University the most.

"The students there seemed very serious about [the drinking game] flip cup, which is more than I can say for the people at UCLA," said Ross, adding that she witnessed ASU students engaging in such innovative games as keg ball, find the keg, and dark doubles. "The thing I like most about the university is that if there isn't a drinking game that interests you, the supportive environment allows you to create your own."

Though Ross was accepted at Stanford, it ranks near the bottom of her list, since fewer than two-thirds of the undergraduates she polled there had ever gone to a movie totally plastered.

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