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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Public Calls For Formation Of Some Sort Of Federal Administration To Manage Emergencies

NEW ORLEANS (Sept. 7)—In the wake of Hurricane Katrina's devastation of the Gulf Coast, Americans are demanding that President Bush sign an executive order that would create a government agency to assist citizens affected by disasters. "Clearly, there is a pressing need for some kind of federal agency to manage these types of emergencies," New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin said. "A federal emergency management administration, if you will." Nagin added that this organization's purpose could dovetail with another federal agency intended to secure the U.S. homeland, if such a thing existed.
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