NEW YORK—According to sources throughout the commercial aviation sector, the nation’s airlines will begin installing awkwardly placed bumps in every airplane seatback this week because it reportedly brings great pleasure to them.
ATLANTA (Oct. 12)Americans are expressing their outrage at the soaring price of the non-renewable resource gasoline from the passenger seats of their vehicles across the country. "America means having a right to cheap gas without having to say please," said Augusta, GA resident George Rizner, idling in his Hummer H2 in a protest near the Georgia State Capitol. "What are we supposed to do, walk?" Rizner then did doughnuts in a nearby parking ramp until his vehicle stalled. The public continues to express similar frustration at long lines at gas pumps, constant and disruptive road construction, and increasing traffic gridlock, insisting that all these problems can be easily solved with more and cheaper gasoline.