Man Born With Face You Just Want To Punch

In case you missed last night's premiere of the second season of "Onion News Network", watch Jean Anne Whorton's touching portrait of a man who was born with a god-awful, hateful face.

Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Publicist Confirms Komodo Dragon From ‘Skyfall’ Pregnant

BURBANK, CA—Unable to keep the news under wraps with her client’s bump visibly showing, the publicist of the Komodo dragon from Skyfall acknowledged Monday that the lizard was indeed pregnant. “Roxanne is thrilled to announce that she is expecting little dragons of her own,” said Janet Kresbaum, adding that People magazine had already secured the rights to the first photos of the dragon’s clutch of eggs. “She is resting quietly in her nest for the time being while she focuses on keeping her developing babies incubated. She has requested that, beyond the information I have just provided, her privacy be respected in order that her new family not be cannibalized by other Komodo dragons.” At press time, co-star Daniel Craig sent his best wishes on this joyful occasion.

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