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Entertainment

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Publicist Schmoozes Wife Into Sex

NEW YORK—Morty Jamison, 44, a successful publicist with Jamison, Laird & Connaught, successfully schmoozed his wife Lily into sex last night. "I gotta call in a favor—the project's right up your alley," Jamison said. "Let's get dinner and talk it over—how's tonight? I'll have my assistant shoot you an e-mail." Although not visibly impressed, Lily reportedly signed on for a quickie feature above the fold.

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