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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Publicist’s Single Dream In Life For Nation To Have Wes Bentley Fever

LOS ANGELES—Saying that she wants nothing more than for her client to gain the fame and notoriety he deserves, Hollywood publicist Kelsey Schumacher told reporters Tuesday that her greatest single dream in life is for the nation to be overtaken by Wes Bentley fever. “If I don’t ever have a family, or ever get to travel, or fall in love, that will be fine as long as I can ramp up Wes Bentley’s buzz and ensure that he takes the world by storm,” Schumacher said, adding that her life will be rendered meaningless if the Jonah Hex and American Beauty actor’s face doesn’t constantly appear on the cover of celebrity gossip magazines with captions such as “Wes Bentley Shows Off His Killer Beach Bod,” “Wes Wows On The Red Carpet,” and “Behind The Scenes Of The Latest Wes Bentley Movie.” “My most deeply held hopes and wishes would be fulfilled if we somehow lived in a world where people were clamoring for all the Wes Bentley they could get, where Wes Bentley would have to turn down talk show spots because he’s been double-booked, and where directors would bend over backwards to get Wes Bentley in their projects. If that happened, my existence on this earth would make sense.” At press time, Schumacher was attempting to foster a groundswell of social media attention for her client by getting the hashtag #WBent to trend.

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