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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Pujols Switches To Shiny Red Bat As Mid-Career Crisis Sets In

SEATTLE—Angels slugger Albert Pujols reportedly showed up to the team’s dugout Tuesday with an expensive little bright-red bat, prompting players to speculate that the 32-year-old was entering a mid-career crisis. “He’s seemed kind of down since his numbers started dipping and people stopped talking about him as the best hitter in baseball, so it’s not really surprising to see him swinging around that brand-new sporty cherry-red bat,” said Angels left fielder Vernon Wells, who confirmed Pujols had also recently attempted to appear younger by wearing tight leather pants during games. “Albert says playing with a young rookie phenom contending for the MVP doesn’t make him feel insecure, but that zippy crimson bat says otherwise. He’s been bragging about how the barrel is blazingly fast and cracks louder when it hits the ball, but his wife is going to kill him for blowing $50,000 on a bat.” At press time, team sources confirmed Pujols had driven his 2013 Harley-Davidson Iron 883 motorcycle to the on-deck circle for batting practice.

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