The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal looks back at 'Saving Private Ryan' in this week's Film Standard.
SOUTH BELOIT, ILThree-month-old Lab-Dalmatian mix Smokey curled up into the sweetest little ball of fur you'd ever want to see and died of canine parvovirus in his owner's home Sunday. "Awww, look! Look at that!" said Smokey's former master, nurse practitioner Dieter Knast, who discovered the puppy's corpse. "Did puppums have severe dehydration? Who had a bacterial infection that caused septic shock? You did! You did! You're a little angel." Smokey's corpse is expected to remain under the radiator until it doesn't smell cute anymore.