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Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.

Tokyo Portal Outage Delays Millions Of Japanese Warp Commuters

TOKYO—Saying the outdated system needed to be upgraded or replaced to avoid similar problems going forward, millions of inconvenienced Japanese warp commuters expressed frustration Thursday following a Tokyo portal outage that caused delays of up to eight seconds.
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Qaddafi Asks Closest Advisers If They Think He's A Bad Person

TRIPOLI—In the midst of widespread unrest, Libyan president Muammar Qaddafi convened his closest advisers Tuesday and asked them to be totally honest about whether they thought his brutal crackdown against his own people made him a bad person. "When he closed the door, he said that if ordering air strikes against fellow Libyans, allowing the repeated sexual assault of female prisoners, and conducting public executions against political dissenters made him sort of an awful human being, then we should just tell him," adviser Atia Mahmoud said. "We all assured him that he wasn't a complete monster and that he was doing the right thing. I mean, we were all pretty worried we'd be shot in front of our families if we said otherwise." Satisfied by the response, Qaddafi ordered bulldozers to flatten every building in the rebel-held city of Benghazi, as well as any inhabitants that got in the way.

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Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

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