Qiu Bo

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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Qiu Bo

Diving — China

Training: Learned how to dive by jumping into sea of Dockers at parents’ work

Advantage: No matter what happens, people in China will be told he won every single event

Endorsements: Chunri Shi Tiger Paste; Chinese Communist Party; GoDaddy.com

Style: Has grace of a tiger, though it is far more fun to watch a tiger climb a 10-meter platform and jump into a swimming pool

Gold medals needed to spare life: 9

Events entered in: 1

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