ARIES: You will experience unbounded happiness and success in every area of your life this week, unless of course there is something fundamentally and irreversibly wrong with you.
SAN FRANCISCO—Rescue workers are still searching frantically for any signs of unwasted time in the wreckage of high-school student Jeremy Fanshaw's life, following a devastating Quake game that claimed an estimated 500 hours of his time. "Ordinarily, a game of this magnitude would destroy 40 to 50 hours," Red Cross worker Linda Wallis-Hupford said. "But, tragically, Jeremy went back to play the game from the beginning, then he started playing at harder and harder skill levels, and, eventually, he downloaded software that let him create his own levels and skins." As rescue efforts continue, experts are warning of a possible Quake II disaster that could last even longer, with more stunning graphics.