adBlockCheck

Recent News

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
End Of Section
  • More News

Quaker Oats Assembly-Line Worker Fired For 'Oops! All Berries' Incident

DE KALB, IL—Richard Karl, a 47-year-old assembly-line worker at Quaker Oats' Cap'n Crunch With Crunchberries plant in De Kalb, was fired Monday following an "Oops! All Berries" mishap." "This cereal is supposed to have a yellow-piece-to-Crunchberry ratio of 4:1," Quaker spokeswoman Melissa Dyer said. "But Mr. Karl failed to pull the lever that sends the yellow bits down the chute into the big funnel, so there aren't any in Monday's entire batch of cereal. It's all Crunchberries." Added Dyer: "What are we going to do with all these boxes of pure Crunchberries? You'd have to really love Crunchberries to want to eat these."

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close