Quaker Oats Canister Relabeled 'DRUGS' For Grade School Play

Top Headlines

Recent News

End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Preparedness

  • Doctors Recommend Getting 8 Centuries Of Cryosleep

    STANFORD, CA—Claiming that the practice is essential for effectively recharging the body and waking fully rested and alert, doctors at Stanford University issued a report Monday emphasizing the importance of getting at least eight centuries of atomi...

Productivity

Quaker Oats Canister Relabeled 'DRUGS' For Grade School Play

ABINGDON, MD—In order to dispel any confusion regarding the contents of a 42-ounce Quaker Oats canister used in the play Drugs Stink!, Orchard Elementary School students wrapped the tin cylinder in red construction paper and wrote "DRUGS" on it in large block letters, sources reported Tuesday. "Here, try some of my drugs," said third-grader Beth Carlisle, who, ensuring her grip did not obscure the canister's sinister label, spilled some imaginary narcotics into the palm of fellow cast member Samantha Drake. "They'll make you feel real good, heh, heh, heh." According to witnesses, the canister was later discovered by a school janitor, who determined it would make an ideal container for storing his weed.