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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Quiet Riot Speaks Out Against Nation's Poor Metal Health Care

LOS ANGELES—In their first public appearance since breaking up three years ago, surviving members of the hard-rock band Quiet Riot reunited Friday to raise awareness of the urgent need for metal health care reform. "The state of affairs in this country is enough to make most citizens want to bang their heads—in fact, it will drive them mad," said drummer Frankie Banali, explaining that many metal health plans no longer cover rudimentary procedures such as girls rocking their boys. "Sadly, the number of people seeking the help of metal health professionals has declined by more than 99 percent since our first hit in 1983. The situation is dire." The band went on to state that former lead singer Kevin DuBrow, who died in 2007, would have wanted all Americans to have equal access to the padded cells, straitjackets, and steel face masks so urgently needed by the metally ill.

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