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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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QVC Temptation Tour Power Rankings

Ann Folger waged an unsuccessful battle against QVC, caving in and buying a pitcher with fruit infuser. That knocked her clean out of the power rankings for the week, so let's see who usurped her position:

1) Audrey Thomas
Last Week: 1
Undisputed and why would she be? Ever since she smashed her phone last month in a self-hating rage after purchasing a $500 bead decoration set, Audrey has yet to hit up QVC for a new product. Don't think she hasn't thought of knocking on a neighbor's door at 5am to buy another set of beads; she is staying strong.

2) Michelle Levine
Last Week: 4
Always a perennial contender, Michelle limited herself to a tomato planter she didn't need, a six-bottle set of moisturizers and ten shirts that will fit her at her goal weight. Though she rung up $377 dollars in purchases, as she tells herself every day she is "worth it".

3) Penny Hollister
Last Week: 15
Penny is the big climber after going all week without watching a single minute of QVC. The fact that she has been huddled in a corner sobbing over the death of two pet fish is beside the point; a win is a win.

4) Greg Lucas
Last Week: 2
Greg slipped from the podium after buying a coral ring for Becky in accounting. Inappropriate to say the least; she's married, and he's never spoken to her in his life. That's a recipe for Greg sleeping alone once more this evening.

5) Lizzy Sussman
Last Week: 10
Lizzy shooting up the charts thanks to a well-timed diabetic coma. The trick will be to avoid that economy-sized bag of candy apples when she comes to.

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