QVC Temptation Tour Power Rankings

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Vol 47 Issue 04

Final Week Of "Dumb In America" Looks At Future Of Idiots

In "Half-Wits Ascendant: Towards A Dumber Tomorrow," Host John Harris is embedded with The Brotherhood of the Talon, a group of anti-government revolutionaries deep in the Ozarks, where he uncovers a little-known fact: several of the nat...

"Dumb In America" Fourth Episode Shines Light On Dumb Blacks

Harris goes deep inside the dumb black experience to ask, "In a country where African-Americans make up an inordinate amount of the prison population, does being dumb really matter one way or the other? They're probably going to get you anyway, righ...

U-Say Response To Becker Decision

Was the Supreme Court's ruling against Tom Becker fair? Here's what U, the viewers, have to say: "That Becker guy is the worst. I'd rather have my ears bleed uncontrollably than listen to him drone on about the benefits of taekwondo again." --...

The CrossWord: Juniper Has Troubled Past

All right, people, let's talk about this horse-marriage debacle. The conventional wisdom is that Congressman Ronald North is the bad guy, but like all conventional wisdom, it's DEAD WRONG.

This Week's "Dumb In America" Looks At Dumb Men

In "The Dumb Man: Hardship & Hope At An Eighty-Six I.Q.," "Dumb In America" host John Harris examines what it means to be a dumb man in America today. Though stupid men find themselves increasingly accepted by society as a ...

U-Say Responses To The Military Chaperone Program

We received thousands of emails about the army’s new chaperone program for women in combat. Here's what U-Say about this issue: "I can't imagine sending these women into combat without a man there to make sure to catch them when they faint at a...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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QVC Temptation Tour Power Rankings

Ann Folger waged an unsuccessful battle against QVC, caving in and buying a pitcher with fruit infuser. That knocked her clean out of the power rankings for the week, so let's see who usurped her position:

1) Audrey Thomas
Last Week: 1
Undisputed and why would she be? Ever since she smashed her phone last month in a self-hating rage after purchasing a $500 bead decoration set, Audrey has yet to hit up QVC for a new product. Don't think she hasn't thought of knocking on a neighbor's door at 5am to buy another set of beads; she is staying strong.

2) Michelle Levine
Last Week: 4
Always a perennial contender, Michelle limited herself to a tomato planter she didn't need, a six-bottle set of moisturizers and ten shirts that will fit her at her goal weight. Though she rung up $377 dollars in purchases, as she tells herself every day she is "worth it".

3) Penny Hollister
Last Week: 15
Penny is the big climber after going all week without watching a single minute of QVC. The fact that she has been huddled in a corner sobbing over the death of two pet fish is beside the point; a win is a win.

4) Greg Lucas
Last Week: 2
Greg slipped from the podium after buying a coral ring for Becky in accounting. Inappropriate to say the least; she's married, and he's never spoken to her in his life. That's a recipe for Greg sleeping alone once more this evening.

5) Lizzy Sussman
Last Week: 10
Lizzy shooting up the charts thanks to a well-timed diabetic coma. The trick will be to avoid that economy-sized bag of candy apples when she comes to.

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