Radio DJ Invites Whole Town To Some Bullshit

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Vol 47 Issue 48

In Theory

Showtime 10 p.m. EST/9 p.m. CST Adventurous philosophy professor Jane Theory is a sexual dynamo whose intellectual musings during intercourse help her many partners reach epiphanies and orgasms they never dreamed possible.

Cain Drops Out

After a Georgia woman came forward and claimed she had a 13-year affair with Herman Cain, the former Godfather's Pizza CEO announced he would suspend his campaign for the presidency.

Wife Hoarders

A&E 8 p.m. EST/7 p.m. CST It’s nearly impossible to wade through the stacks and stacks of wives from the 1970s that Alan has stored in his living room.
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FORT WORTH, TX—Saying they get their hopes up anytime they notice her looking particularly downhearted, siblings Paulo and Marisa Hernandez told reporters Wednesday they love it when their mother is sad enough to just order pizza.

Holiday

Radio DJ Invites Whole Town To Some Bullshit

TULSA, OK—According to an on-air announcement, KWPA disc jockey Johnny the Radio Bomb is inviting the entire populace of Greater Tulsa to some bullshit or other happening this Sunday.  The bullshit, which is taking place in the parking lot of Kirk's Mattress Warehouse off the Broken Arrow Expressway and may or may not be in a tent, will feature free hot dogs, an unbearable local blues-rock band, a bunch of other bullshit, and an appearance by Johnny the Radio Bomb himself. "Everyone's welcome," the Radio Bomb said as he cued up "Feels Like The First Time" and "Juke Box Hero" for a Twofer Tuesday rock-block. "Hop on down to [the bullshit] between two and five." In addition to picking up bullshit bumper stickers and stupid-ass balloons for the kids from the KWPA Prize Patrol, visitors can register to win a 2012 Toyota Corolla.

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