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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Rams Too Embarrassed To Express Interest In Simeon Rice: 'What If He Doesn't Like Us?'

ST. LOUIS, MO—Fearing that free-agent defensive end Simeon Rice would not like their team because the facilities "aren't nice enough," the "stupid old stadium is too small," and that their "dumb team uniforms look stupid," the St. Louis Rams found themselves too embarrassed to express interest in the three-time Pro-Bowler, sources close to the team reported Friday. "Just look at Simeon—he's such a great player," said Rams' GM Charley Armey, squirming in his chair as he watched tape of Rice, who is second in sacks among active players and considered quite a catch. "I don't even know what I would say to him. What if he thinks we're lame because all the other teams have more money and a later curfew?" Armey claims the team is feeling shy and vulnerable after losing several key free agents during the offseason, and that they have never felt as attractive to popular players as the other "more glamorous" teams in the NFC West.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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