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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Randy Moss Complains He's Getting The Ball Too Much

FOXBOROUGH, MA—After posting his most productive receiving performance in eight years during his Patriots debut, Randy Moss told reporters that he was frustrated with the amount of catches he was being forced to make. "I'm already tired of doing all the damn work around here," said Moss, who caught nine passes for 183 yards and a touchdown in what he called a "grueling" afternoon. "Would it kill Tom Brady to maybe look for Donté [Stallworth] once in a while? Or maybe even try and hand it off? No, it's 'Throw it to Randy! Throw it to Randy!' all day long out there. It's like suddenly I'm the best receiver in the world as far as they're concerned." Moss also commented that the team had asked him to sprint "way too hard" during running plays.

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