Rare Species Of Frog May Hold Cure To...Ah, Never Mind, It's Extinct

In This Section

Vol 45 Issue 10

Anger Actually Can Kill

A study in the Journal Of The American College Of Cardiology says that anger and other strong emotions can trigger unhealthy irregular heart...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Business

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Rare Species Of Frog May Hold Cure To...Ah, Never Mind, It's Extinct

MANASSAS, VA—According to a study published Monday in The Journal Of Experimental Biology, a rare species of tree frog found only in a small section of the Amazon rainforest may give hope to millions suffering from…oh, wait, forget it. It's extinct. "A biochemical compound present solely in this species could be used to create an inexpensive, readily available medication that will all but eliminate the devastating…wait, what?" said Dr. Prianka Chadha, a research biologist at George Mason University and lead author of the likely Nobel Prize–winning…well, probably not now. "Really? All of them? Shit." Chadha urged the public not to lose hope, because her research team is prepared to clone the gene responsible for the frog's curative…oops, scratch that. They just had their funding pulled.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More