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Rasheed Wallace Has Greatest Dream Where He Uses Headband As Basketball Slingshot And Scores A Million Points

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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Rasheed Wallace Has Greatest Dream Where He Uses Headband As Basketball Slingshot And Scores A Million Points

DETROIT—Pistons forward Rasheed Wallace awoke from the greatest dream Monday morning, in which he was in an NBA game, and he took off his headband and started using it as a slingshot, and everyone kept passing him the ball, but the balls were smaller than usual, or maybe his headband was bigger, and he kept slinging the balls into the hoop from a hundred feet away and he scored a million billion points, Wallace reported Monday. "I remember I was playing against the Celtics—except Paul Pierce, like, became Allen Iverson somehow, and my father was on their team for some reason—and my headband stretched across the whole court, and when I shot the balls from it, they all automatically went in, and then the floor started glowing," Wallace explained to reporters. "Also, I figured out this thing called the backwards dunk, where you dunk through the bottom of the rim, and the refs give you a thousand points for figuring out the secret. Oh, and the court was my house." Wallace said he cannot wait to try using his headband as a slingshot in a real game.

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