'Ravaged' Named Florida's Official State Adjective

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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'Ravaged' Named Florida's Official State Adjective

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Governor Jeb Bush announced Monday that Florida has adopted the word "ravaged" as its official state adjective. "In the past decade, parts of Florida have been ravaged by hurricanes, political controversy, infestation, poverty, and crime," Bush said in a press conference. "What better way to describe the state than with the word 'ravaged'?" "Ravaged" beat out such popular contenders as "muggy," "graying," and "tourist-clogged."