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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Ravens Offense Suffers Another Huge Blow As Joe Flacco Lines Up Under Center

OWINGS MILLS, MD—After losing tight-end Dennis Pitta to a season-ending injury, the Baltimore Ravens’ offense suffered another major blow Monday as team sources confirmed that quarterback Joe Flacco had lined up under center. “I saw Joe calling signals and stepping up to the line and—well, obviously your stomach just kinda drops when you see something like that,” said head coach John Harbaugh, who acknowledged that the team now has a “major void” to fill at quarterback. “Of course we’ll try to find a way to recover from what happened today, but right now I know the whole team is feeling completely demoralized.” The team reportedly sustained yet another crippling setback when Joe Flacco received the snap.

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