Ravens Offense Suffers Another Huge Blow As Joe Flacco Lines Up Under Center

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Vol 49 Issue 32

Carl Tresvant

Since he didn’t know anything about the topic being discussed, Carl Tresvant kept his goddamn trap shut.

Obama Taking 8-Day Martha’s Vineyard Vacation

The Obama family will leave Saturday for an 8-day vacation on the quiet, affluent island of Martha’s Vineyard, where they have visited three of the past four summers, and are expected to spend the week golfing, shopping, and relaxing.

Doctors Finally Clear Peyton Manning To Play Football

DENVER—Two years after performing his 2011 spinal fusion surgery, doctors announced this week that Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning has been officially cleared to return to the field and take part in football activities.
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Ravens Offense Suffers Another Huge Blow As Joe Flacco Lines Up Under Center

OWINGS MILLS, MD—After losing tight-end Dennis Pitta to a season-ending injury, the Baltimore Ravens’ offense suffered another major blow Monday as team sources confirmed that quarterback Joe Flacco had lined up under center. “I saw Joe calling signals and stepping up to the line and—well, obviously your stomach just kinda drops when you see something like that,” said head coach John Harbaugh, who acknowledged that the team now has a “major void” to fill at quarterback. “Of course we’ll try to find a way to recover from what happened today, but right now I know the whole team is feeling completely demoralized.” The team reportedly sustained yet another crippling setback when Joe Flacco received the snap.

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