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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Ravens Win Best Team At 2013 Super Bowl Awards

NEW ORLEANS—In a star-studded gala hosted by James Brown, the Baltimore Ravens were honored for their distinctive achievement in the football industry Sunday, winning Best Team at the 2013 Super Bowl Awards. “It’s really so incredible to take home the Lombardi for Best Team,” said tearful Ravens head coach John Harbaugh, who also received the Best Original Score award for “34,” and Best Adapted Screen Play based on a 1999 pass by Andy Reid. “I want to thank everyone involved in making this team, the other nominees, as well as the voters at the Academy of Football Arts and Sciences.” Though the Ravens won 14 different awards, including Best Hair and Makeup for linebacker Ray Lewis, the 49ers Alex Smith was also honored with Best Actor in a Supporting Role for his disturbing and gut-wrenching portrayal of San Francisco backup quarterback Alex Smith.

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