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The Pros And Cons Of Gene Editing

Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.

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Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Ray-Ban A Little Unsure Public Can Pull Off 2012 Series Of Sunglasses

ROCHESTER, NY—Premium eyewear manufacturer Ray-Ban confirmed Monday it has "some very real doubts" about whether its summer 2012 line of sunglasses is something American consumers will be able to pull off. "It's a tricky look, not everyone can make it work, and even those with enough confidence to make a serious attempt usually end up looking like they're just trying too hard,” said company spokesperson Vincent DeSoto, who acknowledged that marketing research indicates Americans wearing Ray-Ban aviator shades are 24 percent more likely to be perceived by their peers as assholes. "The truth of the matter is, Americans don't have the face for it this summer, and unless you have exceptional cheekbones, we recommend you just leave your Ray-Bans hanging from your shirt collar without actually putting them on.” Officials added that even if the glasses look ridiculous on Americans, this summer's Ray-Bans will still have a big logo on the lens so that everyone knows all the wearers are in some kind of special fucking club or something.

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