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Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.
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Rays Expect Increase In Attendance After Filling City With Hissing Snakes

In the SportsDome, we told you about Tampa Bay's plan to fill Tropicana Field by unleashing thousands of snakes in the streets of Tampa and St. Petersburg, making the home of the Rays the only snake-free zone in the area. Rays General Manager Andrew Friedman expected the move to pay big dividends, saying, "nothing will get the people of Tampa in the mood for baseball like stepping out of bed in the morning, directly into a pile of writhing snakes."

Here are the plans for the snake-drop, which show how packs of snakes will drive people through Tampa, into Tropicana Field:

Tampa has already released the first load of snakes, collected from across the world. Here are some photos:

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MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

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