Reade High School: Home of the Warriors And Over 100 Documentaries

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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Strongside/Weakside: Alex Morgan

Despite her recent injuries, U.S. striker Alex Morgan is still arguably the most potent goal-scoring threat in women’s soccer. Is she any good?

Despite her recent injuries, U.S. striker Alex Morgan is still arguably the most potent goal-scoring threat in women’s soccer. Is she any good?

Sexist Pig Has No Idea When Team USA Playing Nigeria

‘What Round Is This Again?’ Misogynist Asshole Asks

NORTHFORD, CT—Revealing just how old-fashioned and small-minded he truly is, local sexist pig Jonathan Scott admitted Monday he has no idea what time the U.S. women’s soccer team plays Nigeria tomorrow night, sources reported.

Owner Tearfully Releases American Pharoah After Triple Crown Win

‘You’ve Earned Your Freedom,’ Emotional Horse Owner Says

ELMONT, NY—Overcome with emotion as he described how much he’d miss his “old friend,” the owner of Triple Crown–winner American Pharoah bid a tearful farewell to the colt Monday before granting the horse its freedom, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Barcelona vs. Juventus

Barcelona and Juventus go head-to-head in a Champions League final that will be watched by millions of incarcerated soccer executives around the world. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Keys To The Matchup: Warriors vs. Cavaliers

The Cleveland Cavaliers face the Golden State Warriors in what is likely their last-ever chance to win a championship for Kevin Love. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

The Cleveland Cavaliers face the Golden State Warriors in what is likely their last-ever chance to win a championship for Kevin Love. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Keys To The Matchup: Blackhawks vs. Lightning

The Chicago Blackhawks face the Tampa Bay Lightning in a Stanley Cup Finals matchup that has hockey fans wondering how late they’ll have to fucking stay up to watch overtime. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

The Chicago Blackhawks face the Tampa Bay Lightning in a Stanley Cup Finals matchup that has hockey fans wondering how late they’ll have to fucking stay up to watch overtime. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

FIFA Assures Fans Investigation Won’t Affect 2022 Qatar Slush Fund

ZURICH—Stressing that soccer’s international governing body will continue to conduct business as usual in the face of high-profile fraud charges, FIFA officials assured the public Friday that the ongoing U.S. Department of Justice investigation will in no way affect the 2022 Qatar slush fund.

FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

Global Soccer Tournament To Kick Off In America Later This Afternoon

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

Hockey Fans Treated To Rare Sighting Of Zamboni Giving Birth

ANAHEIM, CA—With thousands of spectators visibly emotional after witnessing the heartwarming moment, fans at Monday night’s playoff game between the Anaheim Ducks and Chicago Blackhawks were reportedly treated to the rare sight of a pregnant Zamboni giving birth.

James Harden Pretty Sure He Felt Something Pop In Lower Beard

HOUSTON—Expressing concern that the injury could sideline him for the remainder of the postseason, Houston Rockets shooting guard James Harden confirmed Friday that he felt something pop in his lower beard during last night’s game against the Golden State Warriors.

Strongside/Weakside: James Harden

James Harden has become one of the most potent offensive threats in the NBA, leading the Houston Rockets to their first Western Conference Finals appearance in 18 years. Is he any good?

James Harden has become one of the most potent offensive threats in the NBA, leading the Houston Rockets to their first Western Conference Finals appearance in 18 years. Is he any good?

Bored David Blatt Just Drawing Up Plays For Fun During Cavs Game

ATLANTA—Explaining it was merely something to occupy his attention throughout the evening, Cleveland Cavaliers head coach David Blatt revealed to reporters that he was spending the majority of Wednesday night’s Eastern Conference Finals game against the Atlanta Hawks drawing up plays for fun on the sideline.

Tiger Woods, Lindsey Vonn Blame Breakup On Hectic Sex Lives

JUPITER ISLAND, FL—Explaining that the pressures of their day-to-day commitments had given them no other choice but to end their three-year relationship, golf star Tiger Woods and Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn released a joint statement Wednesday blaming their breakup on their hectic sex lives.

Draft Pick Hugs Family That Will Bleed Him Dry Over Next 5 Years

CHICAGO—Upon hearing his name announced by commissioner Roger Goodell during the first round of the NFL draft Thursday, wide receiver Anthony Parker immediately began embracing the family members who will slowly bleed him dry over the next five years, sources confirmed.

Greatest Boxing Matches Of All Time

With Floyd Mayweather Jr. facing Manny Pacquiao this Saturday in what many have dubbed the “Fight of the Century,” Onion Sports looks back at the greatest bouts in boxing history

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Best Playoff Performances In NBA History

With the basketball postseason heating up, Onion Sports looks back at the greatest individual performances in NBA playoff history. Shaquille O’Neal: During the 2001 NBA Finals, O’Neal was absolutely dominant while tearing apart ...

Derrick Rose Pulls Off Perfect 720 At Local Skate Park

CHICAGO—Following his numerous failed attempts at the challenging skateboard trick, sources confirmed Wednesday that Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose successfully landed a perfect 720-degree aerial at a local skate park. Rose reportedly manage...

Keys To The Matchup: Duke vs. Wisconsin

With the NCAA title on the line, Wisconsin faces Duke in a rare national championship game that gives neutral fans only one team to root against. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Kentucky Cancels Practice For NBA Draft Suit Fitting

CLEVELAND, OH—Following the Wildcats’ 78-39 victory over West Virginia in the Sweet 16, Kentucky sources confirmed that coach John Calipari had canceled Friday’s practice so the players could get fitted for NBA draft suits.

The Pros And Cons Of Paying College Athletes

As college athletic programs continue to generate millions of dollars in revenue for their schools, advocates for student-athletes have begun pushing for schools to pay their players, while opponents say that compensating athletes has the potential to ...

Greatest Undefeated Seasons In Sports History

With the University of Kentucky men’s basketball team just four games away from completing a perfect 40-0 season, Onion Sports takes a look back at the greatest undefeated runs in sports history. 1971 Nebraska Cornhuskers: The Univers...

Notable Moves In NFL Free Agency

The first 72 hours of NFL free agency have ranked among the most frenzied and chaotic in league history, with a slew of high-profile players changing teams and signing record deals.
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Reade High School: Home of the Warriors And Over 100 Documentaries

When people want to make a documentary about a slice of Americana, they come to Reade, Texas and join the long, proud tradition of filming a season's worth of footage of the Reade Warriors football team. Here are some of the best ones out there, but even if you watch these, don't worry; there's five more Reade documentaries slated for release this year alone.

Justice In Reade
Four teammates on the Reade High School football team stand accused of a heinous crime, killing a four-year old girl after a drunken team celebration. The filmmakers take a look at the notion of innocent until proven guilty and what it's like walking and living life as a known suspect and football star in Reade, Texas.

Distinctions:
TriBeca Film Festival Best Documentary Feature
San Francisco International Film Festival
Telluride Film Festival Silver Medallion
Toronto International Film Festival

Once A Brother
The devastating tale of two friends, two teammates ripped apart by the pressures of winning the last roster spot on the acclaimed Reade High School football squad. A look inside the head and home of two distinctly American teens.

Distinctions:
Sundance Film Festival
Palm Springs International Film Festival
Talinn Black Nights Film Festival Grand Prix
Toronto International Film Festival

To Be From Reade
Ever wonder what it's like to represent your family and county on the gridiron? This documentary takes a look at what it means to have - and keep - a spot on the high school football team, deep in the heart of Reade, Texas.

Distinctions:
TriBeca Film Festival
Telluride Film Festival Silver Medallion
Festival de Gramado
Cannes Film Festival Palm D'Or recipient
Toronto International Film Festival

Sparta Falls
Football isn't just a game in Reade, Texas: it's life. But what happens when a strict disciplinarian coach comes up against accusations of overworking his all-American teen charges? What wins out? Safety? Winning? Football? Sparta Falls takes on everything you know about Texas, high school and football.

Distinctions:
Ann Arbor Film Festival Best of the Festival
Warsaw Film Fesival
Mar del Plata Jury's Special Award
Toronto International Film Festival

We're From Reade
When you're representing your family and your county every Friday night, there are certain unspoken rules of respect that transcend age and class. We're From Reade takes a look at the generational aspects of being a high school football player in Reade, Texas.

Distinctions:
Shanghai Film Festival
Sundance Film Festival Grand Jury Prize
South by Southwest
Toronto International Film Festival

Foot Out Of Football
What if you live in the American heartland but you have aspirations for so much more, far beyond the confines of Reade, Texas? Join the high school football team of course. Follow Brian Tanner's voyage from bright young linebacker trying to escape Texas through the only tributary anyone in the state knows: football.

Distinctions:
Raindance Film Festival Best International Feature
New York Film Festival
Valdivia International Film Festival Pudu Winner
Toronto International Film Festival

Reade Fights On
One bright Tuesday morning in September, the Reade High School football team comes to practice… and finds out about the worst terrorist attack on U.S. soil in history. Together. A rousing tale of the inspiration teammates find in each other, and in football.

Distinctions:
Sundance Film Festival
Venice Film Festival Golden Lion
Pusan International Film Festival Sonje Award
Toronto International Film Festival

Bound And Lashed: Football And Sexual Assault In Reade
If you're young, handsome and play football for your high school in Reade, Texas, one might think of you as unassailable, untouchable. But is it true? Follow the story of Grady Elmore, quarterback for the Reade Warriors and see how complicated life in the heartland can be.

Distinctions
Karlovy Vary Crystal Globe Winner
Moscow Film Festival Main Prize
Sundance Film Festival
Toronto International Film Festival

Sons Of Reade
Growing up in Reade, Texas means a steady diet of eggs, milk… and football. Follow the Reade Warriors as they train together, play together and shoulder the hopes, fears and expectations of an entire county, and by extension, an entire country.

Distinctions:
South by Southwest Audience Award
Ann Arbor Film Festival
San Sebastian Film Festival Official Selection
Toronto International Film Festival

Learning To Reade
Football isn't something you go to school for in Reade, Texas. It's something you're born into. Follow the 1972 state champion Reade Warriors as they look to win back to back titles and shoulder the expectations of an entire town… and each other.

Distinctions
Tribeca Film Festival
Raindance Film Festival
Warsaw Film Festival Audience Award
Toronto International Film Festival

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