Reader Comprehension Quiz - Week Of July 4, 2011

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Content From 2011-07-11

Rod Stewart Easily Passes For An Elderly Aunt

Record industry refuses to claim credit for horrendous #1 song, The National Funk Congress is deadlocked on get up/get down issue, and the Chicago Bears reunite for the first time since the "Super Bowl Shuffle." It's the week of July 4th, 2011.

Music Festival Tips

This summer promises to be a vibrant one for music festivals, due to the growing popularity of the Pitchfork Festival, Bonnaroo, Lollapalooza, and others.

Fish

"The bass were the first to talk about it, but they're kind of a coarse fish." - Eight-pound walleyed pike

Dick Armey

"We cannot afford to take the health of our nation's lawns for granted." - Sen. Dick Armey (R-TX)

Buying Someone A Drink

When you see someone you're interested in during a night out, it's common to buy them a drink. Here are some etiquette guidelines to consider before you make your move:
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

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