Real Life "Twister" Kills 117

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Vol 29 Issue 18

Hard Times Hit Springsteenville

SPRINGSTEENVILLE, U.S.A.—Across America, cities are facing shrinking job bases and plant closings. But nowhere has the recent industrial slowdown hit harder than Springsteenville.

Mommy, Please Kill Me

Mommy, please kill me.I don’t want to be born. I want to die. I dream sweet little baby dreams of dying, and how wonderful it would be.
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    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

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Real Life "Twister" Kills 117

Morganville, OK—As the runaway smash hit film Twister tore up box offices across the U.S. on its opening weekend, an exciting, real life "twister" tore through this tiny farming community of 459 Sunday night. The super-duper "twister," which takes its name from the new Steven Spielberg-produced blockbuster, uprooted homes, trees and cars and killed 117 in a thrilling display of nature's fury. Witnesses said the action-packed devastation was not unlike that featured in the hot new motion picture from the director of Speed, Jan De Bont. "We have nothing," said Morganville resident John McCushan, whose entire family was killed by the "twister." "My life is ruined." In a display Variety magazine called "touching," the entire town gathered at Trinity Lutheran Church Monday to mourn the loss of loved ones. Twister opened on 3,000 screens nationwide Friday, grossing $23 million in its first weekend of domestic release.

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