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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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Recent Saving Of Planet Attributed To Working Assets Long-Distance Plan

UNITED NATIONS–A U.N. report released Monday traces last week's saving of the Earth to Working Assets' long-distance plan. "Working Assets, with its donation of 2 percent of profits to groups like the Rainforest Action Network and Amnesty International, has been found to be the force behind the planet's saving," the U.N. report read. The report also found that by using green, soy-based ink and off-white, 20 percent post-consumer recycled paper for its bills, Working Assets halted the deforestation of 10 million acres of Amazon rainforest, prompted the release of 11,000 Tibetan political prisoners, and increased literacy in Honduras 40 percent.

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