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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.
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Red Cross Accused Of Wartime Non-Profiteering

WASHINGTON, DC—The Senate Armed Services Committee issued a rebuke of the International Red Cross Monday, accusing the organization of wartime non-profiteering. "The Red Cross is exploiting the current conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan to extend its money-losing influence over international medical aid and emergency relief," said Chairman John Warner (R-VA). "Whatever their stated mission, the Red Cross exists only to fatten its blood banks and care packages." The accusations come only weeks after Iraqi officials accused the International Red Crescent, the IRC's Muslim branch, of masterminding multiple acts of humaniterrorism.

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