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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Redskins Fans Can't Remember How To Cheer A Quarterback

ST. LOUIS—During Sunday’s game against the St. Louis Rams, Washington Redskins fans across the country were reportedly having an extremely difficult time remembering how to cheer for a quarterback. “So wait, what I am supposed to yell when he’s on the field?” said longtime fan David Fenners, 47, adding that he “completely blanks” on how to conduct himself when Redskins rookie quarterback Robert Griffin III completes a pass, scrambles for a gain, or throws for a touchdown. “It’s something like ‘Go!’ or ‘Throw!’ right? Or maybe I’m just supposed to clap. I haven’t actually cheered for a quarterback since Mark Rypien, and that was like 20 years ago, so I honestly don’t remember what I’m supposed to do here.” At press time, confused Redskins fans were booing Griffin until they could think of something better to do.

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