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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Redskins Fans Can't Remember How To Cheer A Quarterback

ST. LOUIS—During Sunday’s game against the St. Louis Rams, Washington Redskins fans across the country were reportedly having an extremely difficult time remembering how to cheer for a quarterback. “So wait, what I am supposed to yell when he’s on the field?” said longtime fan David Fenners, 47, adding that he “completely blanks” on how to conduct himself when Redskins rookie quarterback Robert Griffin III completes a pass, scrambles for a gain, or throws for a touchdown. “It’s something like ‘Go!’ or ‘Throw!’ right? Or maybe I’m just supposed to clap. I haven’t actually cheered for a quarterback since Mark Rypien, and that was like 20 years ago, so I honestly don’t remember what I’m supposed to do here.” At press time, confused Redskins fans were booing Griffin until they could think of something better to do.

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