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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Reedsburg Chamber Of Commerce:'Come Grow With Us'

REEDSBURG, OH—According to the Reedsburg Chamber of Commerce, the small Central Ohio town is a great place to relocate a family or business. "Reedsburg Is On The Grow!" said Chamber of Commerce President Fred Frisch, unveiling Reedsburg's new slogan. Frisch added that if you visit Reedsburg, "You'll Like What You See" as, with its low crime rate, clean water and great schools, the town is "A Perfect 10!" Frisch then broke down in tears, adding, "Please move here. The county really needs the tax revenue. We're desperate."

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